Goodwill :)

Over Thanksgiving break I was hired back for just sixteen hours, but those sixteen hours provided some time to see my friends (and second family) that I used to see all the time until the summer when I only worked weekends and then none of them at all for three and a half months!  I was in production hanging and ticketing apparel and when the 5:00 shift started, Holly and Mai came up behind me and gave me big hugs, Rachel couldn't believe I came back, Keith was surprised to see me there and was even more surprised to find out I was working.  My favorite reaction was from Bob, though.  He came in the back to do something for new goods (which is right next to the apparel station) and I said, "Hi Bob."  He looked at me and said hi back, but then he did a double take and said, "Hi Kellie. How are you?"  I guess he wasn't expecting to see me.  Now that I write it, it doesn't seem as funny, but at the time is was amusing.  Oh, I also met my brother's girlfriend too!  I am so proud of him.  It took him three tries, but he finally found a great girl.  It seems that many people date each other at Goodwill Sigh, they don't always work out though... :(

I was so glad to work with my friends again and see many of the same people I worked with.  There were also many new faces, but that was because a lot of them are seasonal, but my team leaders (managers) said I can come back over the summer as well because they do like me and my work ethic (I don't want to brag, but I belive I'm a good worker).

I probably would have been happier to work on Saturday, but I was in a crabby mood because of my house (not the people, just the house) and I hope that not too many people noticed, but Adam did notice.  We didn't talk much, but that little bit was good enough because of my mood and I don't want to always talk to him like we used to.

Saturday night after the store was clean I asked Kat if I should just keep my apron in my brother's locker until I came back for Christmas break and she said that that would be fine.  She asked when I would be back and I said that I didn't know for sure because it depended on finals and the weather.  Hopefully I am not held back due to weather, or any reason at all!  It was then that she said I could come back in the summer.  I told her it depends what I have to work at the mill, but that I would love to if it works out.  It's so good to know that they are flexible and willing to work with my schedule because they could have easily just said no since I wouldn't be able to work as much as I used to.  I am truly blessed to have the greatest part-time job in the world :)

Houston, I Have a Problem!

Up until very recently, I have been dedicated to being a medical technology major.  When I arrived back home for break, I got mail from Marian University, which was my second choice school, about transfer information.  To be completely honest, at first I laughed, but then I seriously considered it.  I looked at their majors list, just to see what there was to offer, and noticed they offered biology-cytotechnology, which I always thought was basically the same thing as medical technology.  I did a little research and found that they are different, and have different salaries as well.  I emailed my advisor to talk about these diffferent majors.  Now I am still debating between these and dental hygiene, which was what I had originally planned on doing before I decided to come to Wartburg for med tech.

Having three different choices isn't the bad part.  The bad part is that I believe the ideal school is separate for each of these majors.  Dental hygiene at Fox Valley Technical College, Cytotechnology at Marian, and Medical Technology at Wartburg.  I know Wartburg does dental hygiene as well, but I could save a lot of money back home.  Also, Marian is a private school in Wisconsin, and one year's worth of tuition is only a semester here.  All of these potential careers interest me so much, but I need to focus on only one!  I am working on figuring these things out, but only time will tell.  So far I have set up an appointment with my advisor to discuss these majors (and some May term classes, but I digress...) and I now have a laboratory job shadow set up over Christmas break that will provide a tour of different lab departments, so that will take care of medical technology and cytology (and about a dozen other fields as well).  I just set up a dental hygiene job shadow at the end of break as well, but right after I hung up I felt wrong about the situation.  The lady didn't seem very friendly and didn't ask many questions or for any of my contact information.  I may or may not have solved this problem because I emailed another dental clinic (The place where I have the job shadow already doesn't even have contact information.  I had to text my mom to get their phone number!) to try to set one up.  I am really hoping that they can arrange for this to happen because I really want to cancel the other shadow, but if it's not possible, I will just go with it.

It is my goal to FINALLY decide what I want to do before summer because education is important and I want to make sure I'm at the right school for the right reasons and not having to learn from expensive mistakes.  I am paying for my education myself, so every dollar saved helps.  Exactly one year ago I was in the same boat I am in once again.  Well, then I was trying to decide between just Marian and Wartburg.  Now I am deciding between these colleges and the technical college because of what I think I want to do.  I am really hoping that the meeting and job shadow(s) help because I have done research and am really stuck.  I think the best way to decide is to actually spend a day, or part of a day shadowing these jobs to get a feel for what they do on a daily basis.  I should have known this would happen and I would start to change my mind! Gah!!!!

Pre-Thanksgiving Break Assessment

Fall break was not as great as I would have liked it to have gone, so in order to not be rather disappointed like last time, I am not expecting much.  I do hope that the Thanksgiving dinner will be as delicious as always and my mom always works so hard on it every year that even if something would happen to be burnt, I would still appreciate it.  But I cannot expect my friends to be the same and my family to have changed because that is just absolutely out of my control.  That became evident upon my arrival and I began to be disappointed.  Not super disappointed, but just enough to kind of give me a reality check that people change.  This time; however, I will be working for sixteen hours at my favorite place to work in the whole wide world - the Grand chute Goodwill of North Central Wisconsin :)  I do expect it to be different and I know I won't see everyone that I used to work with, but I won't let things like that bother me.  I will just be glad to be hired back for a couple days and do my job (although I'm really hoping they don't put me on register because I think I honestly forgot a lot!).  I will also be going to an IHOP get together with a group of friends who (most of them) I haven't seen since summer, or even graduation!

My goals are to get my homework done and enjoy myself.  Personally, I enjoy going to work, so that would be counted for enjoying myself as well.  I love my family and friends, but I can't spend my life pleasing them because I also have to live my life (thank you Tyler for that pep talk after catching me on the downside of life).  I'm not trying to sound selfish because I do care about others, but I think every once in a while we all deserve a little "me time," which I did not get to experience during fall break.  Actually, I kind of did with a couple different friends at different times, but they both ended up in disappointment.  So, this time around, I will "do what I gotta do."

The Big Reveal

Anyone who applied for a service trip knows about the "big reveal."  It is the night when everyone finds out what service trip they are assigned to, and hopefully it is one of their top choices!  Tonight, November 21, 2011, was the big night and I found out that I will be traveling to James River State Park in Virginia, which just so happened to be my first choice!  Some of my reasons for this trip to be my top choice were because I wanted to experience a different area of the US (besides the Midwest), it was unique because it was an environmental service trip, and it involved physical labor, which is perfect for two reasons.  One reason is because when I am in service to others, the most tiresome work makes me feel my best; as if I gave my all to the people.  The other reason is because it will keep me in shape for tennis, which will have started for two weeks by then, but there is also a team trip to Orlando, FL, and I already signed up for a service trip before I knew about the tennis trip.

Through this trip I hope to make new friendships.  I am already off to a great start since I met a girl at our meeting and started talking to her afterwards and she seems very nice!  Since I haven't met everyone from our group (4 weren't at the meeting), I do not know for sure, but as of right now I am the only first year student on this trip, which is a little intimidating, but as we were sharing about ourselves, I found out that for many of them it was also their first service trip, so maybe not as intimidating as I thought.  Another thing I  hope to gain from this trip is a newfound appreciation for nature and the work we must do to maintain our parks.  I love the outdoors, but I'm pretty sure at one point or another, we will all have our moments of struggle and i want to push through it and come out stronger in the end (mentally and physically).

Another Powerful Song

A couple summers ago at a Christian music festival held in Oshkosh, WI, a guest performed a song just before the Sunday worship and it really hit home.  Her name is Holly Starr and she sang the song (and played the piano) I Love You Anyway.  She explained that it was for a close friend that turned her back on their friendship and hurt Holly.  Although there isn't much to say anymore about them, in the song she remembers all of the times they spent together and also the many times her friend made her cry.  From this pain she realizes that God always has a plan and that there was a reason she was in Holly's life.  She talks about remembering how she was hurt, but she will leave it for history and continue to love her anyway, just like God does, unconditionally.
I can relate to this because for most of my sophomore year and half of my junior year my best friend just treated me way differently and it was so miserable.  Ever since kindergarden we had been best friends and I couldn't belive what I was losing.  I spent countless nights crying myself to sleep.  I didn't understand, but she told me she had changed.  I still cared about her as if she was my best friend and loved her like she was as well.  During second semester we had AP US History together and that was when we kind of started over and things got better for us again.  I can say to this day that we are still best friends, but things are a little different now.  We don't get to see each other as much (because of college and location) and she does things that I don't agree with, but I still love and accept her for her.  I was lucky because I still have my best friend after the "dark times," unlike Holly.  I'm still not exactly sure why it all happened in the first place, but I have an idea that maybe it was to learn to accept change.  Accept it and move on.  Leave the rest for history, just like Holly.

Say What You Need to Say

John Mayer sings the song "Say What You Need to Say."  I love this song because it is a reminder to us all to speak up!  We all have ideas that we would like to be heard, but sometimes it is the "shadows in our head" Mayer sings about that keep us from doing so, also known as, our doubts.  He also says that it is better to say too much than to never say what you need to say.  It is hard for us to rise above our doubts sometimes, even though we know that it's better to speak up than not at all.  "Even as your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken, even as the eyes are closing, do it with a heart wide open."  Besides the line "Say What You Need to Say," this is my favorite part of the song because it is the hope for an individual.  People still get scared or even lose some faith about things they are passionate about, so that is why they need to just say it.  They need to know that they are not alone and with that, it will build courage, confidence and faith.
I have many ideas, but I do admit to not speaking up.  I think it is my doubts and fears of feeling foolish or stupid in others' eyes that prevents me from doing so, and the only person to blame is myself for that one.  I hope that throughout my time here I will be able to gain confidence in myself so that I may speak up and share my ideas and my story.  One day, I will confidently be able to "say what I need to say" without worrying about what others think.
I also believe this same rule can be applied to instances such as bullying.  We hear about it all the time, but very little about people speaking up about it.  People usually talk after someone has already taken their life.  By then it is too late for that person.  So, by saying what we need to say, it can also save lives.

A Day with my Friends

Today was an amazing day spent with two of my best friends!  At first, I was not planning on going to the Wartburg vs Luther game, but after Sam insisted I come, I decided to go and take a break.  Emily also came along and since there were three of us and Sam was driving, I called shotgun on the way there and Emily would get it on the way back (because things like that still matter).  Once we got there, we went to the Wartburg side, but we wanted to sit and all the bleachers were filled.  Luckily, there was another Wartburg section on the far end of the Luther stadium side.  At first I felt weird walking past all of the Luther fans, but once in the Wartburg section it was much better.  It was looking very good for Wartburg since we were up 21-7 (I believe) at half-time, but by the last quarter Luther had caught up and with just over a minute left, Wartburg scored an extra three points!  I was ecstatic!  After that, Emily and I met Sam's brohter, Steve, who plays football for Luther.  We went to a pizza place called Mabe's and it was very slow (maybe because it was packed), but very delicious.  Sam, Emily and I ordered a large chicken BBQ pizza while her brother and his friend ordered a large chicken alfredo pizza.  I found it funny that the two of them finished their pizza before the three of us finished ours, but I suppose they were hungry football boys and we weren't as hungry.  They also finished the rest of our pizza!  Then she dropped the boys off at school and we were on our way back home.
Today has made me realize that after a hard week's worth of school work, it is ok to live a little and take a break from homework to spend some quality time with friends.  I also realized how much I love my friends (even though I knew I loved them anyways), I just really had a great time with them.  I do not know what I would do without them.

Housing for Next Year

Recently we were emailed information on next year's housing and I was excited because it meant I could pick my roommates (not that I'm having troubles with my current one).  I have kind of two different groups of friends, so it's hard to make plans since one wants to live in the manors while the other group I was starting to make plans with want to live in Lohe.  Actually, I suggested we could live there since I have an idea about a project to present.  Since you already know about my pro-life activity, I would like to present a project that respects all life (human focused as of now).  I'm talking young, old, sick, healthy, born, and unborn.  My first dilemma is deciding who I will room with and trying to figure out the project I want to do.  If I get in, then I am in and I don't believe I could switch if I changed my mind later on in the year, from what I understood in the email.
Now for my other problem; I'm not exactly sure if I will be here next year.  I love (absolutely LOVE) Wartburg, but it is still expensive for me since I am paying for school myself.  Also, I have a job shadow coming up and if I decide I don't want to do medical technology and turn to dental hygiene instead, I will end up going to Fox Valley Technical College back home because they have a nice three year part-time program there and I would take extra writing classes in addition to stay full-time.  But I have also decided that if I do that, I will rent an apartment because I do not want to go back home.  I want to keep my independence!  But I can only do that if I have a job, which I'm almost positive that Goodwill would want to hire me back.  Unfortunately, minimum wage would not be enough for one person alone, so I would need a friend, and the only person I have found so far is a guy friend, and I'm not so sure I want to move in with a guy (and my parents would really disapprove).
Despite these so-called problems I have in making choices, I am still blessed to have so many wonderful friends from both Wisconsin and Iowa who will repect my decisions.  I pray that I can make the right decision and have no regrets.

Working

My first real job was working as a cashier at Goodwill Industries of North Central Wisconsin (NCW).  I started the summer after my junior year and have met some of the greatest people ever!  I consider that place to be another home because everyone is so friendly and almost family-like.  I wish that other members of my real family would realize that Hispanics, homosexuals and unmarried pregnant women shouldn't be treated like the plague because I have made friends from all three of those categories.  I loved working at Goodwill and sometimes if I didn't have much homework on the weekends, I would call and ask if they wanted me to come in and I almost always was able to come in for extra hours.  My second job was working full time at a paper mill my dad worked at as a summer helper (and still worked weekends at Goodwill because I didn't want to give that job up quite so fast).  The company is called SCA Tissue and I worked at plant two in Neenah Converting.  Let's just say that these days weren't as enjoyable and were filled with paper dust and loud noises, but it was very good pay and I made some great friends as well!  The supervisors even liked me and said that I would be eligible to come back next summer!
This goes out to everyone who complains about thier job: At least you have a job!  I am so tired of hearing people complain about how they have to go to work.  Sometimes is ok, but all the time is uncalled for.  I have applied to jobs, but didn't get them and with my homework load and tennis coming again in the spring, I believe I would be better off without a job right now, but I would love to have one because I still need to pay for school and start paying ahead on my interest on loans.  After this year I will decide if playing tennis or paying for school is more important, but I don't want to quit the tennis team halfway through the year.  Great things come out of jobs, including paychecks, new friends, and work experience for future resumes and applications.  Next time someone complains about their job, I hope they consider those aspects.

Back Home

I am going to reflect on my first time returning home experience.  I was so excited to finally see home and my family and friends that I hadn't seen for over two months.  Right when I got home, though, I quickly realized why I decided to leave in the first place.  I feel like I'm suffocating in that small, crowded house.  The night started off relatively unhappy because my dad didn't like my nose ring, and my mom said she was disappointed that I did that as well, and also my feather in my hair.  It wouldn't have been so bad if it was just that night I had to hear about it, but they reminded me every day of their distaste.  I don't want to seem misleading because I do love my family, but they drive me nuts sometimes!  Then I went to the New London library to try to finish homework (and I didn't even get as far as I had hoped due to limited online database access and lack of patience for any more smartwork).  I then visited with my best friend and another friend who was at her house as well.  I was very glad to catch up, but I found out that she had done some things that I am totally against and I was upset, but didn't show it much in front of her.  The next day, Friday, I hung out with Adam and I did have fun disc golfing (and cried I was laughing so hard after he successfully got two of his discs and a large stick stuck up in the tree while trying to get the original disc down) and watching tv at his house.  Unfortunately, I was also sad at the same time because I realized that it was very unlikely that we would get back together again and that we would only be friends.  Saturday was much better when I went shopping with another friend and then my godmother took my sister and me to see Footloose, which is a great movie!  Then I went to church and found out a lot had changed and I felt out of the loop.
Basically, I would say that my fall break was about 50% good and 50% disappointing.  I did get to see some family and friends and some of the time was good quality, but it was disappointing that my family didn't change at all, some of my friends did, and I'm living two lives (Wisconsin and Iowa) at the same time and trying to keep up with both, but its very difficult and I have been focused more on my Iowa life because that's where school is, which is currently my main focus.  I have about a month now to put all of my focus on school and maybe I won't be as distracted when it comes closer to Thanksgiving break since I have a feeling things will play out the same way as fall break.  Hopefully with that in mind, I will be able to concentrate much better than right before fall break.